Hey, it’s me again–Harry the Homeless Man. You may remember me from my weekly blog about jetted showers. I am here to say that after considerable success with my other work, I have decided to started a web log about sunglasses. Why sunglasses you ask? Well as a vagrant living in sunny San Diego, I am somewhat of a connoisseur regarding this accessory. Not only do I come in constant contact with discarded sunglasses which I take back to my tent for further inspection but I also have met quite a few residents here who love sunglasses.
Recently, I have taken up the formidable task of being a secret spy for a government organization that I will not name for obvious reasons. I can’t reveal this covert mission either but I will say that the men in the trench coats approached me because they saw that I was wearing special Spy Sunglasses. They thought it was only appropriate to award me with this secret undertaking.
I found these babies on the corner of J and 15th. I’m not sure who dropped it but I’m sure they didn’t know that their sunglasses fell out and onto the ground because no one would intentionally cast off Spy Sunglasses in such pristine condition. I should know; I never see them along my travels. They’re only rare around these parts because people who own them like to hang onto them. I can see why. The ones that I now own have an uber modern black block design with 100% UVA and UVB protection. I know they’re incredibly sturdy because I tested them underneath a bicycle one day. Sometimes, I like to wear my Spy Sunglasses and pretend that I am a robot. Then, I do a really good rendition of a robot dance around people like you who are petrified of homeless men because they’re diseased and insane. I’m here to say that I’m not diseased. I’ve had all of my shots.
Anyway, my unmentionable mission is to be completed within the next five days. I think I’m going to sit in the assigned spot, slip on my super cool Spy Sunglasses and pretend as if I can’t see. I will jot down some notes about the people that I spy and report back to the faceless men in trench coats. Hopefully, if things go well, they will give me another assignment. Until then, I’ll just sit here perfecting my spy skills as well as my robot moves.
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26 Responses to “How I Can Spy With Sunglasses”
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